Tales from the screwed up war
by Megaman-the-Hedgehog2.0
Summary: A one-shot fic with the epic adventures of Lash, Sonja, Grit, Colin, And Max! Please R&R! And yes, this is A black hole rising fic.


TALES FROM THE SCREWED UP WAR

An advance wars fan fiction brought to you by the screwed up mind that brought you Soul Calibur 2: off air, and pokemon galactic, comes an epic tale of penguins, war conference rooms with Sonja and lash, and the terror of ANDY!!

**_Now, Its story time!!_**

In a special room in the Yellow comet HQ

So, you have to deal with Kanbei like I deal with Flak? Lash asked Sonja. The room was fairly large, and had a burger/hot-dog/sandwich dispenser unlike any other room. You could get soda, like sprite and coca-cola on the left side. On the right, chips , gum, and fruit snacks. They even had popcorn, and cotton candy machines. All of this was free, but any machines outside you would have to pay for.

In the room, were Lash, Sonja, Colin, and Grit. Max would sometimes came in, but only for another free soda, or a turkey hoagie. Right now, he had to train future C.O.s. At his break time is when he stopped in to say hello.

Flak occasionally looked through the glass. He didnt have any clue what was past the door. Grit, in the middle of the peeks, would aim his gun at Flaks head through the window. He really wouldnt fire, but he would scare Flak off.

Yeah, but Id rather have Flak. Sonja answered. Surprised at her comment, Colin accidentally dropped his Nathans hot-dog. Why? Lash asked.

That way, I have someone to pick on.

Upon hearing this, Flak barged in.

Everyone was astounded. They swore they locked it or at least Grit did.

To late to draw my gun Grit thought.

You guys get to sit there and do nothing with some free hoagies, while me and some

troops sit there in the heat working out!?

Hey! Theyre _your _dorky troops! We _force _Olaf and Kanbei to train our troops! And, we have a strict 200 lb and under weight limit! Colin defended. If you want to come into this room you have to be 200 lbs or under! Just then, Max came in.

Hey Lash, Sonja. Hi Colin. Hi Grit. Hi obese bucket head. He went towards the Hoagie machine. Wait Obese bucket head!? What are you doing here? We have a strict 200 lb weight limit! He said, grabbing a fresh hoagie.

_You_ dont follow that rule, Chunky Cheeks! Flak snapped back.

Im 198, FYI, and at least I dont eat food off the floor, unlike you, Chunky Monkey!

Flak quickly hid Colins half eaten hot-dog behind his back. Colin was confused by what Max meant, but he looked where his hot-dog used to be, and understood.

Grrrrr Flak growled.

Max looked pleased, while Colin went to get a new hot-dog.

MuahahahahHAHAHA!! Flak laughed, very maniacally.

Hm? Whats so funny? Im just getting a new hot-dog. I do not find that gut-busting. Even if the word hot-dog was kinda funny, I still would not laugh. Colin said.

I figured you guys would make fun of me, so I got Andy, who was commanding penguins for some odd reason. Flak stated

Crap! Grit! Didnt you lock him in a room full of penguins because we cant trust him with infantry? And you did lock it, right Grit? Sonja asked Grit?

 Uh-oh. Grit said.

Out came Andy with lots and lots of penguins.

Andy, what made you want to follow Flak around with those um penguin units? Colin asked.

Well, I heard the ice cream truck, and I really wanted ice cream. So Flak comes out with a 5 dollar bill. He said that if I helped him, he would let me buy some ice cream!

Then wheres your ice cream? Max asked.

The vendor was Japanese, Andy replied. He didnt speak English. Now go, penguins, GO! Upon that order, several penguins rushed towards the group.

 OWWWW!! Colin screamed. For some odd reason, the penguins went straight for him.

Just then, Sami came in.

Hey guys, have you seen the peng- She saw Colin being hit with the beaks of the birds. Oh. She stared

Sami, Andys gone nuts! Max yelled

I can see that. She plainly remarked.

Cant you do something!? Anything!? Max panicked

I think playing the Feeding Time record will help. She said

Upon that statement, she went upstairs to play the record. When she did, all of the flightless birds went to their proper feeding pens while Nell fed the birds.

Back in the room with the guys

NOOOOOO!! Flak screamed. His plans had been thwarted.

NOOOOOO!! Colin screamed.

Everyone looked at Colin weird.

What? This is the second time today my hot-dog has been eaten. Colin said.

Well, all in a days work. Max said, grabbing yet another Hoagie. Im gonna go train the future C.O.s now. And with that, Max left.

Man, I really should lock doors more often. Grit said

Well aint that the truth. Sonja said.

Well, all in a days work. Lash said.

And that it was**.**

THE END


End file.
